Sunday, October 20, 2013

Unschool, Homeschool or Public School

Lately I have been doing alot of research on educational opportunities for my 10 year old.  She is extremely bright and creative and needs very little guidance.  She's my one kid that is always reading and the one that is always asking questions and wanting to learn about everything she comes into contact with. 

Last school year and this school year, she has been disruptive in class, and the school psychologist blames it on her being bored (although her teacher will not agree with that.)  The teacher's answer is to send notes home, call me on the phone, and put her in the timeout area and sometimes even send her to the principals office.  Other than the school psychologist, who is not a school employee, I have had no support from anyone at the school. 

So I have been primarily researching both homeschooling and unschooling and am finding that in her case unschooling coule be a perfect fit for her.  Unfortunately we do not have any Unschooling support groups in our immediate area but there are alot of online resources.  And many of the resources I have reviewed talk about a blend between homeschool and unschool which is probably the more appropriate way to go.

I'm still trying to learn as much as I can, but I am at my wits end with our school system and the lack of concern they have shown.  And on another note, my two older kids would never be able to handle an unstructured educational environment, but with my 10 year old I'm beginning to think she would thrive in it.

More to come and I will blog more as I come to some conclusions.  I'm just frustrated and felt I needed to vent on here.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Yes...Teens Do Have Sex

I would guess that most moms aren't doing the "happy dance" when their teenagers become sexually active, however many teens do have sex and they can do it safely and responsibly.  As moms we may not think our teen is ready to take that next step into adulthood, but isn't sex a normal human urge that brings us pleasure and fulfillment? 

Many of us moms had sex in our teen years and there is this feeling we get as parents, that we want our kids to make better decisions than we did.  And I'm sure our moms felt that way about us as teens and their moms as well.  But what's so bad about it when your teen becomes sexually active?

Yes, we worry about sti's and pregnancies but as most gynecologists will tell us, using two forms of protection properly is as close to 100% fool proof as we can get.  Sure, teens and adult do become pregnant while using birth control but all the studies suggest that in those cases the birth control has not been used properly. 

For me, if my children choose to have sex, and it is in a safe and consenting relationship, I can accept it.  Sex brings pleasure and a closeness their partners that we as adults know all too well, so why put a magic age on it?  I know 30 year olds that are not responsible enough to have sex and I know teens that are responsible enough.  What makes a person more ready for sex at 21 than they may be as a teen?  Doesn't it depend more on the maturity on those individuals involved?

My 16 year old is in a serious and committed relationship with her boyfriend and they do have safe sex on a regular basis.  They use condoms each and everytime, and she is on birth control.  Both teens have been well educated and understand both the physical and emotional aspects of an intimate relationship. 

And unlike many parents, I do not freak out about the fact that they have sex.  Their relationship may not last forever but at this time they are enjoying the joys of being in love and at least for me, sex is a big part of being in love and committed to another person.  They do not see or have never been raised to see sex as shameful or something to sneak around about.  I would never encourage a teen to have sex nor would I ever encourage an adult, but when that time comes, we want them to be having sex for the right reasons and enjoying every minute of it. 

Labels and LGBT et al

(Taken from a journal I wrote on August 3, 2006)

As much as I love my gay friends and my straight friends, I've always wondered why we need to label ourselves based on our sexual preferences.  Why can't we just be called "people" or "individuals" without having to identify who we happen to be sleeping with or who happens to get our hoochies all wet?  Maybe we should label ourselves "right handed" or "left handed" instead.  My point is when I love I love the person, regardless whether it's a man or a woman.  It's the chemistry, the personality, the look, the eyes, the smile, the voice that turns me on and sometimes it just happens to be a woman and sometimes it just happens to be a man.

I don't consider myself bi or lesbian, or straight, I'm just me trying to find pleasure and happiness in a society that loves to put labels on things.  Whether a person has a penis or a vagina isn't what turns me on, it's all the other parts of the person that can sexually and emotionally excite me.  Sure, looks are important, but there are gorgeous men and beautiful women, and I look to see what more there is. 

Maybe this makes me weird or maybe I'm just having trouble putting my own label on myself (shut the fuck up don't like labels.)  Or maybe I'm just confused about my own sexuality, but really who cares.  If I'm happy and my partner at the time is happy then who cares anyways.  I love sex but who I have sex with isn't based on any label or gender but on who the person is as a person.

Make sense?  Maybe not, but oh well maybe my thoughts will change over the years...I sure hope not.

Starting Off With An Introduction

For years I have written journals and have kept them in a variety of notebooks that are strewn in a few of the closets in my house.  It's funny but my husband has never had any interest in reading anything I have written either before we met or since then...fucking men, go figure.  Btw as you read my rants and thoughts on life and parenting, you will run into a few of the most common words in my vocabulary:  Fuck, Shit, and Jesus Christ.  So if any of those words offend you, you may want to pass on my blog.  But that's a separate topic.

So as I continue, my 16 year old wonderful (95%) of the time, oldest daughter Julie, has been reading my journals...the good, the bad and the atrocious.  But she has been nagging me to put these on a blog to share with the world of the internet.  So here I am, sitting in my sweat pants and a ragged old Cleveland Browns T shirt (what a fucking visual ughhh.)

So my family consists of my husband Gary, my oldest daughter Julie who is 16  Katrina aka Kat, my 13 year old who thinks shes 21, and Amy, my 10 year old who can act 18 at times and 5 at other times.  But I love them all to death and thank god they do have my sense of humor or I'd go insane.  Nope, we don't have any pets although it's a subject the kids bring up on a weekly basis, but I'm not a pet person (sorry all you animal lovers) so I continue to tell the kids..."It Ain't gonna happen."  What a mean mom I am.

Anyways, this blog is my journey as a wild child, a wife, and a mom, and my whacky crazy liberal thoughts that make most mom's cringe.  Yes, I'm that mom that they gossip about at PTA meetings and soccer practices, but what the fuck, I really don't give a shit what others think about me other than they realize at some point, my goal in life is to raise happy healthy kids who accept responsibility and who treat everyone with kindness and respect. 

I don't care if my kids are 30 minutes late coming home at night, I don't worry about whether their beds are made every day and I really don't give a shit if the oldest and her boyfriend grab a beer out of the fridge on a saturday night.  But I do care about how they treat other kids, how they treat their siblings, and how responsible they are in their daily activities.

So anyways, welcome aboard if you're still with me and there's lots more to come.  Grab a cup of coffee or your drink of choice and let me know what you think.

Love makes the world go round, and I'm spinning!