Saturday, October 19, 2013

Yes...Teens Do Have Sex

I would guess that most moms aren't doing the "happy dance" when their teenagers become sexually active, however many teens do have sex and they can do it safely and responsibly.  As moms we may not think our teen is ready to take that next step into adulthood, but isn't sex a normal human urge that brings us pleasure and fulfillment? 

Many of us moms had sex in our teen years and there is this feeling we get as parents, that we want our kids to make better decisions than we did.  And I'm sure our moms felt that way about us as teens and their moms as well.  But what's so bad about it when your teen becomes sexually active?

Yes, we worry about sti's and pregnancies but as most gynecologists will tell us, using two forms of protection properly is as close to 100% fool proof as we can get.  Sure, teens and adult do become pregnant while using birth control but all the studies suggest that in those cases the birth control has not been used properly. 

For me, if my children choose to have sex, and it is in a safe and consenting relationship, I can accept it.  Sex brings pleasure and a closeness their partners that we as adults know all too well, so why put a magic age on it?  I know 30 year olds that are not responsible enough to have sex and I know teens that are responsible enough.  What makes a person more ready for sex at 21 than they may be as a teen?  Doesn't it depend more on the maturity on those individuals involved?

My 16 year old is in a serious and committed relationship with her boyfriend and they do have safe sex on a regular basis.  They use condoms each and everytime, and she is on birth control.  Both teens have been well educated and understand both the physical and emotional aspects of an intimate relationship. 

And unlike many parents, I do not freak out about the fact that they have sex.  Their relationship may not last forever but at this time they are enjoying the joys of being in love and at least for me, sex is a big part of being in love and committed to another person.  They do not see or have never been raised to see sex as shameful or something to sneak around about.  I would never encourage a teen to have sex nor would I ever encourage an adult, but when that time comes, we want them to be having sex for the right reasons and enjoying every minute of it. 

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